Homesick? Maybe. Thinking? Definitely.

Late Sunday nights= my roomy being out at church and me being done homework early, chillin on some fitness websites. No going out for once, not being surrounded by my usual group gives me a lot of mental solitude. And time to think. 

I have a lot of good things in my life; great friends a loving boyfriend and a healthy body. I'm blessed with a family who loves me back home and who I haven't realized I missed until tonight. Dream school, great opportunities, and endless nights of fun with new friends and old. These things all make me so happy, yet I still find myself critiquing my life and looking to improve, get more or get better. Tonight and quite frequently I find it helpful to take a step back and look at the good, all of it, and think of the fact that in so many ways my life could be worse. 

I've never been one to be easily satisfied. Whether it be physically, with sports, diet, schoolwork or social life I critique myself constantly and look to improve. This isn't bad and has made me who I am today; driven, hardworking, but I find sometimes I lack satisfaction in areas that should be so satisfying. 

My biggest problem is probably with relationships. Boys or girls, I have a hard time letting people in fully and trusting them. Surface wise I'm always happy to meet new people and tell jokes but the deeper level of bonding takes me a while to expose. I've taken care and focused on myself and my health for so long I sometimes forget the importance of a connection with other people. Despite this wall I have I've still managed to make so many loving friends. I have a select few I can truly let my feelings out too, and am making so many more each day who are incredibly fun to be around. 

Physically, I usually like my desire to improve and get better as it has always helped me break out of plateaus. I try to look at myself at least once a day and find satisfaction in a certain area I've been working on. To me, having a healthy relationship with your body where you not only challenge it and improve it, but take care of it and appreciate it. This gives you such a good level of confidence no matter what you look like. Fitness isn't just about lifting, running or being skinny. It's about being fit. All over, and that includes your mind and mental health. 

So tonight, and this week I'm going to work on appreciation. Appreciation of my school, family, friends, body and every relationship I have. 

I'm also reflecting on past memories which is something new. I try to live in the moment and plan for the future but looking back today I've had so many people and experiences in the last 18 years I can't believe it. From childhood until now there's been an insane amount of laughs and smiles I've genuinely enjoyed and never will forget. 

So this blog is basically about fitness/ health, but along with eating well in college I'm striving to be happy over everything else. Fitness, food, relationships and fun are all components to my life and my happiness, and each one deserves equal attention in order to create a fulfilling life. 

So as you can see, I think a lot, deeply, but I'm definitely not perfect and everyone's life won't be the same. But if you strive to create a balanced, well rounded life where each "component" is appreciated and taken care of, you're on a path to success.  Success could be whatever you want, in a small sense, but in a large sense the most successful look back on life with a smile on their face whether they have regrets or not. Happiness first, stress less, and take care of yourself, all over :)

Guru Christy signing off!