THE WHITE BLAZER

TODAY I WENT TO THE CAREER FAIR. I WALKED IN WITH CONFIDENCE, THANKS TO MY WHITE BLAZER AND OH SO BUSINESS-LIKE BUN, CASUALLY STROLLED UP TO THE CHECK IN CLIP BOARD AND RESUME IN HAND. AFTER SLAPPING ON MY INCREDIBLY STYLISH NAME TAG, I MADE MY WAY DOWN INTO THE DEPTHS OF THE BJC, WALKING INTO A BLUR OF STANDS AND MORE ADULTS THAN I'VE SEEN IN A MONTH.

WELL, I'VE HAD JOBS, I'LL OF COURSE HAVE NO TROUBLE TALKING TO THESE FRIENDLY LOOKING FARM FOLK. YEAH, I WALKED UP AND DOWN EACH ROW, GLANCING LEFT AND RIGHT JUST LONG ENOUGH TO ABSORB THE STANDS PRESENT; MAKING THE CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO KEEP MY HEAD HIGH AND MY STRIDE RELAXED. I FINALLY GOT TO THE LAST ROW, SLIPPED IN LINE AT SOME ZOO STAND, AND STARED AT THE GIRLS HEAD IN FRONT OF ME.

WHILE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THINKING OF MY FIRST WORDS TO MY FIRST POSSIBLE FUTURE EMPLOYER, THE HEAD FINISHED HER SPEECH, WALKED AWAY, AND REVEALED MY FRESHMAN SELF TO THE KIND MUSTACHED EMPLOYER IN FRONT OF ME. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY. 

WHAT CAME OUT WAS SOMETHING OF A MIXED INTRODUCTION AND QUESTIONING OF WHAT EXACTLY THE COMPANY WAS. "WELL WE'RE A ZOO" THE MUSTACHED MAN SAID. RIGHT. GREAT START.

SO HE COULD OBVIOUSLY TELL I WAS NERVOUS AND BEGAN SPEAKING ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS LOOKING FOR IN AN EMPLOYEE AND THE DIFFERENT POSITIONS HE HAD TO OFFER. I THANKED HIM FOR HIS TIME, WALKED AWAY FEELING INCREDIBLY AWKWARD, AND HUMBLED.

MUSTACHE MAN GOT MY HEAD STRAIGHT, AND AFTER HIM I FELT FAR MORE RELAXED, CRACKING WHAT I THOUGHT WERE FUNNY JOKES AND GETTING A LOT OF SMILES OUT OF A LOT OF EMPLOYERS. 

I WALKED AWAY AN HOUR LATER FEELING CONFIDENT; I'D MET NEW FACES, COMMUNICATED WHO I WAS CLEARLY AND IN A RELAXED MANNER, ASKED QUESTIONS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HAD GENUINELY MEMORABLE CONVERSATIONS.   

I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF EMPLOYERS AS ANOTHER SPECIES IN A WAY. GIVE THEM YOUR STATS, ACCOMPLISHMENTS TOPPED OFF WITH AN EAGER SMILE AND THE JOB'S YOURS. BUT THESE EMPLOYERS DIDN'T JUST WANT ANOTHER TALKING RESUME. THEY WANTED CONVERSATION, SOMEONE TO CAPTURE THEIR INTEREST IN A UNIQUE WAY. 

IN A WAY I FELT A LOT LIKE MY WHITE BLAZER. TAILORED, PROFESSIONAL AND PERFECTLY PAIRED WITH A PAIR OF KHAKIS THAT SCREAMED PROFESSIONALISM. ON THE OUTSIDE YES, THE BLAZER WAS PERFECT FOR THE FAIR, BUT ONE'S APPEARANCE ALONE WON'T PORTRAY  WHO THEY ARE AS A PERSON. 

I WENT INTO THE FAIR THINKING I HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT, SIMPLY BY THE LOOK I HAD AND THE MOTIONS I KNEW I'D HAVE TO GO THROUGH. BUT I LEFT KNOWING THAT PEOPLE COME TO PENN STATE FOR A REASON; BECAUSE EVERY STUDENT HAS SO MUCH MORE TO OFFER, AS AN EMPLOYEE AND A PERSON, THAN JUST THEIR DEGREE.  

Course load...

The two month mark is fast approaching here at psu, and through many fine weekends and even weekdays, I've had some of the craziest times of my life. There is one outstanding frustration that's been with me since the first week of classes, and it's not a bad professor or too many exams. It's a lack of work.

I'm used to being busy. In high school I played  3 sports, took AP classes, multiple science courses and was in charge of many clubs. From 5 am to 9 pm I was occupied every second, and now here at college I feel completely under-scheduled. 

My courses are not challenging at all. Two exams have been difficult, but it is only because the course has absolutely no relation to my major which gives me no drive to push myself in the course. 

After meeting with my adviser and narrowing the focus of my major I feel much better, but for the time being it's incredibly difficult to get through the day because I have so much down time. I'd much rather be studying and having a consistent work schedule than sitting around during the day. Sure I study and do all the homework assigned, but I don't feel like I'm being pushed at all. 

I think college is all about self motivation. You pick your courses, how much time you spend on your assignments, and there's no one telling you when to work and forcing you to go to class. This makes it harder than high school despite the lack of work. 

I'm looking forward to a fuller schedule with more interesting courses. I believe having material that interests you and that is truly important to you makes it easier to self motivate. For now, I'll keep grinding...

Focus

Last week was incredible. Workouts were hit hard, time management was on point and the weekend was a blast. I finally feel as though I'm getting on track as far as routine, and my future plans are finally aligning with my current goals. 

A short meeting with my adviser last week really helped me straighten out where I want to go as far as academics next semester. I plan on doing a bit more research on potential majors but the mindset of "helping others" seems to reside in my general study interest.

It's carried over into the work place and social life as well; I've been more generous helping friends and even strangers (enter crying girl in a bathroom Saturday night) but have also begun devoting more time to my own studies/ personal time.

Personal time of course= gym. I had a nice session this morning sans headphones because I wanted to focus on each movement and have all senses, including hearing, about me. It made it easier to focus and also saved me time, and this "concentration" thing really has me a lot more sore lately. 

I'm learning how much quality matters lately. With workouts, friendships, relationships and work. Schoolwork and even working as a Pass Checker in the fitness center are so much more beneficial and fulfilling when I put my max effort in. I feel I sacrificed my first two exams because the quality of my work and studying was poor. The gym exemplifies this practice perfectly. I use the same weight for say, squats. I concentrate on the movement and contract each muscle as tightly as I can. I'm ten times more sore than I'd be if I sped through the workout. The quality of the workout, as well as everything in life, is everything.

So this weeks life hack: quality! Focusing on grades, health, and the quality of my relationships with people has already begun to make my life more enjoyable. bye :)