Long time no blog! Still at college, still at the greatest campus on earth (PSU c'mn don't argue). It's been a whirlwind of a year. People drink a lot here. And go out a lot. And do redonkulously (<yes, it's a word, I'll continue to use it) reDONKulously stupid/funny/ ballsy things I never really thought I'd see a human being do. Details on that later kids...

IT'S ST. PATTIES DAY!! After a hard day of working out, classes and work (aka workout classes) we'll see if I have it in me to celebrate. I usually do. Who am I kidding I always do. 

So primal/ fitness time... I'm "cutting", as in taking a pair of scissors and trimming the excess fat off my body. Like a steak. Ok not really that'd be disturbingly efficient but I am working to drop some weight. I've floated up and down within a 10 lb range this school year, it's about time I go down. Eating healthy isn't hard here by any means, but busy days and honestly, hormones get to you every once and a while and you just have to order those latenight wings. Or snag some almond milk icecream. And eat all of it... Slight shame so this week I'm starting my "reset" week and being super strict to jumpstart this biz and get back on track. 

Sunday will be refeed day. I'm not calling it a cheat day anymore, you're not cheating yourself out of something unless you're harming ypur progress in some way. If I want my 10 wings over wings and pint of vanilla almond milk icecream, I'm having it. Protein, fat, carb, not alot of chemical ish that will get in the way just a full belly and lots of energy the next day. And a happy/ nondeprived mindset. 

2 eggs (seasoned with Jamaican jerk, or "jerk eggs" as I call em), a cup of coffee with nonfat vanilla creamer down the hatch. Cardio and chest day at the gym. Have a wonderful day you primal peeps you, stay motivated, ITS ALMOST SPRING :DD

I FEEL LIKE COLLEGE FORCES YOU TO DISCOVER WHATS SPECIAL ABOUT YOUR INDIVIDUAL CULTURE IN RESPECT TO THOSE AROUND YOU. 
YOU SEE SO MANY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEIR "DIFFERENCES" AND "UNIQUE ABILITIES" EVERYDAY THROUGH CLUBS, SPORTS AND STYLE IT'S HARD NOT TO STEP BACK AND WONDER WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT YOURSELF.
THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL THING. SOME THINGS WE GREW UP DOING THAT WERE A PART OF OUR HOMETOWN OR FAMILY ARE NOW SPECIFIC ONLY TO YOU HERE AT SCHOOL. AN OUTSIDER COULD LOOK IN AT PSU AND SAY "OH THEY'RE ALL THE SAME" - SMART, WE LIKE TO PARTY AND PARTICIPATE AND ARE ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT WHAT'S AROUND US, BUT WHAT MAKES US ALL SO SPECIAL IS OUR PASSION FOR OUR OWN INTERESTS. 
DEPENDING ON ONE'S MAJOR AND CAREER PLANS, THEY'LL TAYLOR THEIR SCHEDULE AND LIFE AROUND CERTAIN GOALS AND DREAMS THEY HAVE FOR THE FUTURE. BUT FOR ME, WHAT'S SO SPECIAL NOW ARE THE LITTLE THINGS THAT WERE ALWAYS A SIMPLE PART OF MY LIFE.
COOKING, CERTAIN SHOWS WATCHED AND AROMAS THAT FILLED MY HOUSE BRING BACK INCREDIBLE MEMORIES; SNOWBOARDING, ALWAYS A FAMILY ACTIVITY THAT I CAN NOW TAKE PRIDE IN WHEN TELLING FRIENDS ABOUT IT; CERTAIN MUSIC, STYLE FITNESS, ALL THESE COMPONENTS OF MY LIFE THAT WERE ALWAYS JUST "THERE"; THEY NOW HELP ME STAND OUT AS A PERSON AND MAKE ME WHO I AM. 
PERHAPS THEY ALWAYS HAVE. YOU MAY NOT NOTICE THEM BUT THESE CERTAIN TRAITS WILL KEEP YOU FROM GETTING SWALLOWED BY A SCHOOL LIKE STATE. 
SO FIND WHAT'S SPECIAL ABOUT YOU, WHAT MAKES YOU WELL ROUNDED AND GREAT. 

WITH FALL BREAK FAST APPROACHING IT'S CRUNCH TIME.

NUMEROUS EXAMS, EVENTS, AND "SOCIAL SHINDIGS" ARE CIRCULATING MY AND NEARLY EVERYONE ELSE'S LIVES. I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT MY FUTURE AND PRESENT HAPPINESS, AND HAVE REACHED A REASONABLY STABLE MINDSET WHERE THE IMAGE OF MY FUTURE SEEMS QUITE DESIRABLE.

I WANT TO HELP PEOPLE. THIS CAN BE DONE IN MANY WAYS, BUT PERSONALLY I FIND THE FIELD OF HEALTH AND FITNESS THE MOST APPEALING. I WORK, READ ABOUT AND ENJOY THE AREA OF FITNESS SO MUCH I'M TIRED OF HOLDING MYSELF BACK FROM WHAT I FEEL I'M MEANT TO DO. 

AGRICULTURE HAS ALWAYS BEEN INCREDIBLY APPEALING. IT'S IMPORTANT, PROGRESSIVE AND HAS A VERY ENTHUSIASTIC FOLLOWING.  I LOVEE THE COLLEGE AND PEOPLE IN IT, BUT THE MORE WORK I DO IN THE GYM THE MORE I WANT TO FOCUS MY CAREER IN THAT AREA. IT'S WHAT I LOVE AND HAVE BEEN MOST CONSISTENTLY PASSIONATE ABOUT OUT OF EVERYTHING I'VE EVER TRIED IN MY LIFE.

I THINK I WANT TO SWITCH TO BIO BEHAVIORAL HEALTH AND NUTRITION. THE SCIENCE BEHIND MENTAL AS WELL AS PHYSICAL HEALTH IS INTERESTING AND, NOT TO CONFORM, BUT MY BOSS SHARES THE SAME MAJOR AND ABSOLUTELY LOVES IT.

SO, I'M EXCITED TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE; MAYBE I'LL COME BACK TO AG, MAYBE I'LL BE A 30 YEAR OLD RUNNING A GYM WITH A REALLY NICE GARDEN OUTSIDE ;) WHO KNOWS. 

MY POINT IS THAT PEOPLE NEED TO STUDY WHAT THEY WANT. JUST BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE SUCH SUPPORTERS OF AG DOESN'T MEAN I NEED TO STICK WITH IT. I WANT TO PUT MY ENERGY TOWARDS SOMETHING I ENJOY   AND EXCEL AT.

DON'T DENY YOURSELF HAPPINESS, THOSE WHO ARE THE MOST SUCCESSFUL ARE THOSE WHO LOVE WHAT THEY DO

LETS GET ORGANIZED...

SO IT'S APPROACHING TIME TO HEAD BACK HOME FROM PSU AND IN THESE LAST THREE WEEKS I'D LIKE TO FINISH STRONG. I'VE FIGURED OUT MY MAJOR, MINOR, COURSES FOR NEXT SEMESTER AND HOPEFULLY SOON MY APARTMENT. EVERYTHING'S BEEN HUNKY DORY ASIDE FROM A MINOR DETAIL I'VE ALWAYS PRIDED MYSELF ON...MY DAILY SCHEDULE...

COMMENCING LIFE ORGANIZATION NOW!!!

ANYWAY I WAS THINKING BACK TO MY FORMER HIGH SCHOOL SELF AND REALIZED I WAS A WHOLE HECK OF A LOT MORE ON TOP OF THINGS BACK IN THE DAY. NOW, I HAVE A LOT MORE DISTRACTIONS HERE AT COLLEGE BUT IT DOESNT'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT I JUST DON'T THINGS DONE LIKE I USED TO. 

I THINK IT'S GREAT AND ALL HAVING FREE TIME AND PARTYING AND HAVING LIKE 1 ADULT PER EVERY 400 KIDS ON CAMPUS BUT JEEZ WITHOUT PARENTS HERE ITS EASY TO GET OFF TRACK.

THIS MAY OR MAY NOT WORK, BUT I'M BREAKING MY LIFE INTO THREE DIFFERENT CATEGORIES: WORKOUT/EATING, SCHOOL/WORK, AND SOCIAL. LET'S BREAK IT DOWN...

WORKOUT/EATING

I PLAN MY MEALS AND EAT HEALTHY BUT SOMETIMES I LOSE TRACK OF PORTIONS OR FIND MYSELF IN 

A RUT WITH THE SAME OLD EATS, SO I'D LIKE TO CHANGE IT UP. 

1. GO CHEAP, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF DINING DOLLARS
2. LISTEN TO BODY (EAT WHEN HUNGRY, NO OVER OR UNDER EATING)
3. PLAN A FEW SPECIAL TREATS TO PREVENT BOREDOM 

SCHOOL/WORK

MAKE THESE A PRIORITY. SLEEPING, WORKING OUT AND EATING CONTRIBUTE TO MENTAL/PHYSICAL HEALTH BUT A LITTLE MORE STRESS OVER SCHOOL WILL BE BENEFICIAL.

1.  USE MY DANG PLANNER EVERY DAY
2. GET AS MUCH WORK DONE DAILY AS POSSIBLE, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE
3. STUDY EARLY FOR TESTS/ DO FUTURE ASSIGNMENTS AHEAD OF TIME

SOCIAL

INTEGRATED PART OF DAY-TO-DAY LIFE AS OPPOSED TO FOCUS. LESS TIME TEXTING AND ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND MORE TIME FOCUSED ON TE ABOVE TO AREAS.

I'M BEGINNING TO THINK THE LESS TIME I SPEND FOCUSING ON THESE THINGS THE MORE ENJOYABLE THEY'LL BECOME, AS A SOCIAL LIFE SHOULD BE.

SO BASICALLY I'M FLIPPING THE PRIORITIES, REWORKING MY SCHEDULE AND GETTING THINGS DONE. 

COMMENCING NOW!

THE WHITE BLAZER

TODAY I WENT TO THE CAREER FAIR. I WALKED IN WITH CONFIDENCE, THANKS TO MY WHITE BLAZER AND OH SO BUSINESS-LIKE BUN, CASUALLY STROLLED UP TO THE CHECK IN CLIP BOARD AND RESUME IN HAND. AFTER SLAPPING ON MY INCREDIBLY STYLISH NAME TAG, I MADE MY WAY DOWN INTO THE DEPTHS OF THE BJC, WALKING INTO A BLUR OF STANDS AND MORE ADULTS THAN I'VE SEEN IN A MONTH.

WELL, I'VE HAD JOBS, I'LL OF COURSE HAVE NO TROUBLE TALKING TO THESE FRIENDLY LOOKING FARM FOLK. YEAH, I WALKED UP AND DOWN EACH ROW, GLANCING LEFT AND RIGHT JUST LONG ENOUGH TO ABSORB THE STANDS PRESENT; MAKING THE CONSCIOUS EFFORT TO KEEP MY HEAD HIGH AND MY STRIDE RELAXED. I FINALLY GOT TO THE LAST ROW, SLIPPED IN LINE AT SOME ZOO STAND, AND STARED AT THE GIRLS HEAD IN FRONT OF ME.

WHILE I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THINKING OF MY FIRST WORDS TO MY FIRST POSSIBLE FUTURE EMPLOYER, THE HEAD FINISHED HER SPEECH, WALKED AWAY, AND REVEALED MY FRESHMAN SELF TO THE KIND MUSTACHED EMPLOYER IN FRONT OF ME. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY. 

WHAT CAME OUT WAS SOMETHING OF A MIXED INTRODUCTION AND QUESTIONING OF WHAT EXACTLY THE COMPANY WAS. "WELL WE'RE A ZOO" THE MUSTACHED MAN SAID. RIGHT. GREAT START.

SO HE COULD OBVIOUSLY TELL I WAS NERVOUS AND BEGAN SPEAKING ABOUT EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS LOOKING FOR IN AN EMPLOYEE AND THE DIFFERENT POSITIONS HE HAD TO OFFER. I THANKED HIM FOR HIS TIME, WALKED AWAY FEELING INCREDIBLY AWKWARD, AND HUMBLED.

MUSTACHE MAN GOT MY HEAD STRAIGHT, AND AFTER HIM I FELT FAR MORE RELAXED, CRACKING WHAT I THOUGHT WERE FUNNY JOKES AND GETTING A LOT OF SMILES OUT OF A LOT OF EMPLOYERS. 

I WALKED AWAY AN HOUR LATER FEELING CONFIDENT; I'D MET NEW FACES, COMMUNICATED WHO I WAS CLEARLY AND IN A RELAXED MANNER, ASKED QUESTIONS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HAD GENUINELY MEMORABLE CONVERSATIONS.   

I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF EMPLOYERS AS ANOTHER SPECIES IN A WAY. GIVE THEM YOUR STATS, ACCOMPLISHMENTS TOPPED OFF WITH AN EAGER SMILE AND THE JOB'S YOURS. BUT THESE EMPLOYERS DIDN'T JUST WANT ANOTHER TALKING RESUME. THEY WANTED CONVERSATION, SOMEONE TO CAPTURE THEIR INTEREST IN A UNIQUE WAY. 

IN A WAY I FELT A LOT LIKE MY WHITE BLAZER. TAILORED, PROFESSIONAL AND PERFECTLY PAIRED WITH A PAIR OF KHAKIS THAT SCREAMED PROFESSIONALISM. ON THE OUTSIDE YES, THE BLAZER WAS PERFECT FOR THE FAIR, BUT ONE'S APPEARANCE ALONE WON'T PORTRAY  WHO THEY ARE AS A PERSON. 

I WENT INTO THE FAIR THINKING I HAD IT ALL FIGURED OUT, SIMPLY BY THE LOOK I HAD AND THE MOTIONS I KNEW I'D HAVE TO GO THROUGH. BUT I LEFT KNOWING THAT PEOPLE COME TO PENN STATE FOR A REASON; BECAUSE EVERY STUDENT HAS SO MUCH MORE TO OFFER, AS AN EMPLOYEE AND A PERSON, THAN JUST THEIR DEGREE.  

Course load...

The two month mark is fast approaching here at psu, and through many fine weekends and even weekdays, I've had some of the craziest times of my life. There is one outstanding frustration that's been with me since the first week of classes, and it's not a bad professor or too many exams. It's a lack of work.

I'm used to being busy. In high school I played  3 sports, took AP classes, multiple science courses and was in charge of many clubs. From 5 am to 9 pm I was occupied every second, and now here at college I feel completely under-scheduled. 

My courses are not challenging at all. Two exams have been difficult, but it is only because the course has absolutely no relation to my major which gives me no drive to push myself in the course. 

After meeting with my adviser and narrowing the focus of my major I feel much better, but for the time being it's incredibly difficult to get through the day because I have so much down time. I'd much rather be studying and having a consistent work schedule than sitting around during the day. Sure I study and do all the homework assigned, but I don't feel like I'm being pushed at all. 

I think college is all about self motivation. You pick your courses, how much time you spend on your assignments, and there's no one telling you when to work and forcing you to go to class. This makes it harder than high school despite the lack of work. 

I'm looking forward to a fuller schedule with more interesting courses. I believe having material that interests you and that is truly important to you makes it easier to self motivate. For now, I'll keep grinding...

Focus

Last week was incredible. Workouts were hit hard, time management was on point and the weekend was a blast. I finally feel as though I'm getting on track as far as routine, and my future plans are finally aligning with my current goals. 

A short meeting with my adviser last week really helped me straighten out where I want to go as far as academics next semester. I plan on doing a bit more research on potential majors but the mindset of "helping others" seems to reside in my general study interest.

It's carried over into the work place and social life as well; I've been more generous helping friends and even strangers (enter crying girl in a bathroom Saturday night) but have also begun devoting more time to my own studies/ personal time.

Personal time of course= gym. I had a nice session this morning sans headphones because I wanted to focus on each movement and have all senses, including hearing, about me. It made it easier to focus and also saved me time, and this "concentration" thing really has me a lot more sore lately. 

I'm learning how much quality matters lately. With workouts, friendships, relationships and work. Schoolwork and even working as a Pass Checker in the fitness center are so much more beneficial and fulfilling when I put my max effort in. I feel I sacrificed my first two exams because the quality of my work and studying was poor. The gym exemplifies this practice perfectly. I use the same weight for say, squats. I concentrate on the movement and contract each muscle as tightly as I can. I'm ten times more sore than I'd be if I sped through the workout. The quality of the workout, as well as everything in life, is everything.

So this weeks life hack: quality! Focusing on grades, health, and the quality of my relationships with people has already begun to make my life more enjoyable. bye :)